A New Doctrine

From The Mailbag

Kids,

I'm asked some version this question all the time. I brought it over from my mailbag for you blog lovers.


1. Hi Tony!

My husband and I used to be totally hot. Four kids later, I gained 45 pounds. So did he! But I started Power 90, and am getting fit, looking good. Now he is so discouraging! He's jealous of the time I spend on the Power 90 Web site and doing the workouts. Doesn't he want a hot wife? I don't get it. What should I do? Submitted by "hikergirl3"

Tony's Answer:
hikergirl3,

Let me start by saying that you are not alone. I've met dozens of people who have started Power 90 only to have a spouse or partner try to sabotage them. The exact opposite occurs when couples do the program together. The fact that one person wants to improve and the other doesn't will almost always create a rift in a relationship. The situation is scary for both parties. It's difficult for you because losing 45 pounds requires time and commitment. Changing your eating habits is no picnic either. It's hard on your husband because he feels threatened by your need to do something without him. He's also threatened by your desire to communicate with a bunch of strangers on the Internet. It means less time with him while you're doing something he's not ready to do. Even mealtime equates with unhappiness for him.

When a married couple has two different lifestyles (all of a sudden) then things are going to get tricky. The person making the healthy choices is obligated to understand the person who isn't ready. It's not all his fault that he has these feelings. Sudden change is difficult on everyone. Your decision to do this is a constant reminder that he's not doing it. The status quo is easy to deal with, but full-blown lifestyle change is very disruptive. You might want to ask/tell him the same things you're asking me. Why? Why are you discouraging me? Why are you jealous? Why aren't you supportive of my desire to be better, healthier, fitter, and hotter? You might think you know some of the answers, but be prepared to be surprised by others. Either way you'll be communicating and that's a good thing.

When it's your turn to explain why you're doing this, tell him that his lack of support is only going to make things worse. Tell him that being overweight and out of shape is part of the past. The future for you needs to be filled with doing the right things that will make you happy. If he doesn't start to understand what it is you need to be happy, then his world will only get tougher. This process is never easy but pretending that the elephant isn't in the room will make for more conflict down the road. What you don't want to do is tell him to join you in this process. That's his decision and he'll make it when he's ready, not when you want him to. The worst kind of advice to give is the kind that was never asked for in the first place. My fifth law of health and fitness is Reality. Your reality is that you're ready to lose weight, get fit and healthy, and he is not. If you're going to live happily under the same roof, then you better both support each other knowing the truth in that. 4/17/06

Everyone is Welcome

Every camp has a theme. Intensity always seems to be a very important subject at every camp. I discover over and over again that folks just don't know how tough they are. It's hard to know how hard to push when exercise hasn't been a part of your childhood. If you've had coaches and trainers growing up then you've had clear examples of how to push beyond your limits. I good motivator helps his students and athletes find their best at every training session. My coaches growing up lacked the finesse required to help everyone on the field improve. The strong survived while the weak got run over. Team sports will do that. Winning is more important than helping the kids who barely made the cut.

When I started training people almost 24 years ago I swore that my technique would include everyone. Fitness is difficult enough without feeling left out during the process. I want the people buying my workouts and attending my camps to feel like they can be part of the team regardless of their fitness history. Any and all levels are always welcome. Most of my youth was filled with the feeling of being left out. Last guy picked for the team, beat up at the bus stop, made fun of by the bullies at school, etc. If you look at me and think you see the ex-captain of the football team you are off by a mile. My early lessons in this life have helped me hone workouts that work...for everyone. I will never do a dance workout, or a hip-hop workout or a choreographed workout because these types of workouts leave some people out.

My P90X Kenpo workout is slow for some people because I spend a lot to time showing you how to do it properly. It's a technique workout not a fat burning workout. I've got plenty of those for you to pick from. Everyone can do some version of push-ups & jumping jacks. This is why Power90 has helped tens of thousands of people who have never succeeded before. Many programs on the market today are hard to learn, boring & repetitive. This is why they don't work for many people. Especially in the long run. I call Power90 the ON switch to a lifetime of fitness because it is a program that doesn't make you feel left out. Once the switch is on you're ready for anything.

Good Carbs vs Bad Carbs

I am so tired of hearing about the evils of carbs. Can we please stop clumping all carbohydrates into one big nasty pile. There are healthy proteins and proteins loaded with saturated fats. There are certain kinds of sugars that are essential for energy and recovery while others make your butt big. Small amounts of some cheeses add tons of favor and can be part of a healthy diet, while too much mozzarella on your pepperoni pizza is slow suicide. I want to take out the guess work when it comes to good carbs vs. bad carbs. Bread gets a bad rap because it has risen to the top as the king of bad carbs. This is crazy because Wonder Bread & Julian Bakery Bread (for example) have almost nothing in common. Plain old white Wonder bread has only trace amounts of fiber and is made with refined white flour. It's birthday cake without the frosting.

One slice of Julian Bakery protein bread AKA Wonderful Bread has 8 grams of fiber and 10 grams of protein. One slice! That is awesome! The organic ingredients are ground whole grains of wheat, oats, rye, corn, brown rice, millet, sunflower seeds, flax, sesame, poppy, pumpkin, pinto beans, honey, yeast, & sea salt. This is beautiful whole grain healthy food essential for digestion, energy and brain function. Refined white bread is a close cousin to candy bars. When you order that bagel at the corner deli, know that you've just purchased a "bad" carb. When you spread a little fruit preserve on your toasted Wonderful Bread you've selected a very good carb.

Whole Foods Grocers has a great selection of whole grain breads. If you don't have a health food store in your area then contact The Julian Bakery out of La Jolla California. They ship anywhere in the country. Special order the bread to your local market. This is rarely a problem.

Julian Bakery 1 (800) 98-BREAD

Goals

Miami Camp 2006