As a trainer I take on various rolls to help encourage, motivate or inspire my clients. I've learned that saying the right thing the right way is the key to getting results. I'm passionate about fitness but at the same time I don't treat it like rocket science. I like to make it fun, interesting or at least tolerable, so that people can stay with it for a lifetime. I've also learned that certain people need different kinds of encouragement to help them through their workouts. Someone who is first starting out needs lots of positive reinforcement because their fear factor is high. Other folks want tons information right away because the more they know the more they can understand the path to success. The opposite of that are the people who say, "Just hurt me & tell me what to do!" I need to be a caretaker, therapist & drill sergeant with different clients on different days because the "my way or the highway" technique will alienate most people.
One of the greatest lessons I'm learning in this life, is to be aware of the truth of what's happening in my world from moment to moment. This is only possible when I really listen to what people are saying combined with how I react to it. I have a tendency to try to manipulate a situation (with humor, bravado & sarcasm) so that the perceived future outcome is positive, for me. When I break the rules I lose touch with the other persons need to be heard or understood. My ego and need to appear a certain way becomes more important than the truth of the moment. In other words, I'm trying to appear to be something or someone that I'm not. And at the same time I'm denying others to be connected to their truth in that moment.
This leads me to Law # 6 of the 11 Laws of Health & Fitness...Reality. Reality is that thing that is happening to you right now. Reality is that feeling in your gut and that state of your mind before, during and after everything you do. Reality is the truth of every moment, not the manipulated or fantasy versions we put out there for others to see. Being real requires letting all of your defenses down. Exposing yourself to the truth of who you are right now. If you can do that simple thing, you can remove many of life's burdens. One way to practice this is to risk bearing your own burdens. My friend Scott Fifer lives by this philosophy. The man never complains or tries to manipulate a situation. He is honest and fair and clear and he never focuses on the problem. He gathers information and plows ahead.
*Risk bearing your own burdens. The weight of your problems is determined by how much you fear them. But the only weight any fear can have is determined by how much you try to push it away. Risk not "sharing" (pissing, moaning, blaming & complaining) your burdens. Stop pushing them on others. The less you burden other people (especially loved ones) with your problems, the less of a burden they'll be for you. Letting your defences down while at the same time learning to focus on answers and solutions is the key to becoming clear, productive and real.