Last Saturday I found myself in a very bad way. I've been having some repair work done on my house to fix sketchy construction by the original builder. The problem is, my beautiful home leaked like an old fishing boat. A company repaired this issue 3 years ago, but this past winter, water found it's way back in. Nothing like spending thousands of dollars on something that didn't work. This time around I was going to get the best guy in the city. Turns out the water proofer was a rock star (the place is as tight as a drum) but the construction company hired to put the place back together again was pathetic. Shoddy work, lame sub contractors, overcharging me at every turn, and turning a 3 month job into 8. This project has been the bane of my existence... again!
Last Saturday the frustration cup runneth over. After endless delays and screw-ups I exploded all over the owner of this construction company. I haven't been that angry or yelled that loud in 20 years. In that moment I understood crimes of passion. Luckily my outburst was over the phone, because if this guy had been standing in front of me, I surely would have driven my fist through his brain. Even as I write this I feel my cortisol levels rise. Anger IS one letter short of danger. When I hung up (slammed down) the phone after my verbal combustion, I was shaking. The other thing I couldn't shake was this toxic feeling I had coursing throughout my entire body. In that moment I completely understood how anger can make you sick.
This hate outburst occurred at approximately 3:15 last Saturday afternoon and I was planning to go to my yoga class at 4:00 PM. If my friends Brain and Shawna hadn't joining me I would have certainly blown it off. Yoga was the very last thing I wanted to do after that confrontation. Hitting a heavy bag for an hour seemed like the only logical release for what I was suffering from. The verbal shrapnel was still flying on our way to yoga and prior to class the heat coming off of me was so intense that the girl next to me got up and moved to the back of the room. I'm not kidding. I was about to turn a simple sweet Hatha Yoga class into Kill And Destroy Yoga.
For the first 45 minutes of class every pose, every asana was executed like a Vulcan Robot. Perfect emotionless linear intensity. I didn't even break a sweat for the first 45 minutes. Between minute 45 and 50 everything changed. The anger was gone and the sweat started pouring out of me in buckets. The first thing I did after class was call the guy (I screamed at) and apologize. Even with the wrong intentions the physical movements of yoga helped me find balance again. I was transformed. A miraculous thing really. It's possible that any physical movement could have helped me, but it was Vulcan Robot Yoga that made everything right again.
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90 comments:
It's amazing how anger can destroy if not dealt with properly. I'm glad that yoga helped you release the anger, and I'm also glad you called him back. That's integrity...even if the guy screwed you over.
You say it yourself all the time in your discs - clear your mind. A clear mind makes a better workout. The brain chemicals take over and we are 'normal' once again *sigh*..... Im sure the guy appreciated your apology. It takes a person with a strong inner being to say the words and mean it. # cheers for vulcan robot yoga !!!
So, will Vulcan Robot Yoga be in the one on one series?
Bah. You should have punched the guy in the brain.
Tony, all I can say is that I appreciate the fact that you are a stand up guy. It's nice to know that the guy that's pushing me on these little DVDs is one who believes in what he's doing and isn't a total jerk to other human beings because he's "IT" (which honestly, if I were in your shoes, I would have a hard time keeping under control). It's pretty cool to workout with someone who you could see yourself actually being friends with if you had ever met him.
Thanks for always bringing your intensity to all that you do and for giving us an example on tape and in life.
Keep it up, bro. You are changing lives. Glad to see yours is changed daily as well. Clear your mind and breath!
We're only human, brother. We have the capacity to make mistakes, but we also have the capacity to learn from them and become stronger.
I think your story exemplifies this well. Thank you for setting a good example for the rest of us.
Jason L.
Edmonton, AB, Canada
sissy
Tony "The Sissy" Horton
Way to go Tony! I do my best to keep my anger at bay and it is very hard sometimes. Apologizing was the right thing to do, but hopefully you fired the guy. You are paying for their service and if they are not providing it, they don't deserve your money.
Thanks for sharing this. When I first started your program yoga was my least favorite thing to do. A chore. However, I stuck with it and I learned, just as you have reiterated here, what a tranformative power that yoga can have on one's overall well-being. Now, I look forward to that tremendous release that comes from each breath and every move. Now, I look forward to it every week. Thanks for introducing it me, Tony! You are doing great work and should continue for years to come!
Thought yoga was for sissy's... until I tried it! I've been off the P90X prgrm for awhile, personal reasons, and I don't feel the same as when I was on it. Can't wait to push play again.
But, anyways, had similar feeling last nite (angry, upset) but after reading your blog, I already feel better and apologetic. Thanks Tony.
Hey Tony,
Seems like living almost 30 years in LA still hasn't killed that New York/New England fire in your soul, my brutha! Nothing wrong with a little old school, East Coast "constructive" anger. I'll bet that subcontractor will forever think twice before he tries to stiff somebody else. However, I'm glad that you called him back and apologized--it was definitely the manly thing to do. And as for "Vulcan Robot Yoga," I would love to see that as a title for your next "One on One."
Faith heals,
nick
Recently, I read in a book (written by a neuro-anatomist) that the internal mechanics of anger and upset last for approximately 60-90 seconds. If we're angry beyond that time, it's just us reliving that moment and reliving the circuitry. It's pretty amazing how we can do a number on ourselves. And it's us (our brains, our will) doing it.
So, if we can make anger last longer than it needs to, just imagine what we could achieve if we took that energy and applied it to something wonderful and productive. I'm glad you were able to find your flow and sweat it out.
Tony,
Post the guys name and the company name, address and phone number. Please. :)
Good for you Tony. I don't know if I could have called him back and apologized.
I do agree that you should fire him though. You shouldn't deal with that kind of stress.
Hi Tony: You keep it real. I'm a current p90xer. just completed my 1st 28 days. I have a luv/hate feel'n about yoga...oh my god 90min.... reading this really helps change my attitude.
Tony,
For someone who never got to play any games while growing up and thinking I will never be able to do extreme workouts and will forever be that over weight person...you have brought hope and Joy..My only wish is that one day I will be able to meet you face to face and simply say "THANK YOU..I am not there yet..but I am on my way." For now, I will still say THANK YOU THANK YOU.
You the Man! :)
love,
Down Dog Annie
Its great that you owned up to your anger and still kept your yoga class......
I would have went for my heavy bag for sure!
Set-up ... action ... reaction. Kinda like P90X, at first those moves really get the best of you but then you tune in and finally you come to peace with yourself and your personal limitations. The best part is that you can always work toward improving yourself. You always leave an impression Tony! Cheers to that :)
Toronto
Hey Tony,
Good for you on being the bigger man! It takes guts to make that 2nd call and apologize.
I'm know you are coming to Philly Oct 10-11. I'm trying to reach out to you in regards to my 24 hr bike-a-thon to raise money for cancer prevention. You've inspired me in incredible ways.
Your words, "Discover that fighting to be better brings thrills & chills you never thought imaginable." I can't imagine completing this journey without attempting to get in touch of the king of "supersonic fitness." Especially if he's in my town!
I reached out to Carl thru facebook, his reply "interesting idea, what's your email?" Still trying to see what I can dig up.
I'm one of your friends on facebook.
Thanks TOny,
Ryan Rendfrey
event website at:
www.firstgiving.com/raceforcace
Ryan Rendfrey
Thanks for sharing this experience. It resonated on several levels - the leaky roof, poor workmanship, distrust & anger. Good for you for going to the yoga class with your friends AND for the phone call afterwards, plus you made "everything right again" within you. - Kelly
PS Good energy for a leakfree roof!
I'm going to cross my fingers & hope that you make a Vulcan Robot Yoga DVD. :)
Yoga is transforming and your experience testifies to that. I know that if I totally feel frustrated and angry, my Type A gut instinct is to go for a long, long run. But if I pull out your P90X Yoga and start doing that, by the time I get to "Happy Baby" I'm in another place emotionally, a balanced and peaceful place. Whatever had me so ticked doesn't have that power over me any longer.
Comment deleted
This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
So I have to say it again :
You (Tony) and the blog administrator are:
Siiiiiiiiiiiiisssssssssssssieeeeesssss
As the next exercise, repeat 8-10 times after me:
I AM A SISSY!
PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
Sissy Alert.
You got the sissy flu.
I am joking.
Great DVD's, tony
I am going to do yoga x next time I get angry....Tony thanks for keeping it real. Anger is such a negative and self destructive emotion that leads us away from being present.
Tony...you shoudn't be dealing with this stuff. Do you have someone that can help you? You can well afford someone else doing this for you.
Let go all this lower level stuff.
Hey Tony. My name is Chad Goldwasser and I live in Austin Texas. My wife got me into the p90x workouts and they have changed my life. I was a long distance runner, swimmer, biker and i was neglecting my muscles, no more. Great stuff.
The reason I am writing though is I would like to talk to you about an idea. I am in the Real Estate business and have been for 12 years, since i was 24. I am 36 now and have had the top sales team worldwide for Keller Williams Realty for the past 2 years, out of almost 80,000 agents. Last year we were the 15th most successful sales team worldwide. I launched my own company Goldwasser Real Estate 8 months ago and we are about to expand nationally. When I was 20 years old I was basically a drug addict. I tell you this because I am in the midst of writing a #1 NY Times best seller called Billionaire Mindset. It is a workout book, for your mind. We may be able to help each other with our missions, healthy body is in line with healthy mind. I am also in the midst of negotiations to put a show together about the process of becoming a #1 NY Times best selling author and a worldwide motivational teacher and guru-think the birth of the next Tony Robbins, except more intense! That is what I want to talk with you about. I do not know if you read these comments or not, but if so and you are interested in talking to me, you can reach me at chad@goldwasserrealestate.com. Check out our websites as well at www.goldwasserinstitute.com (blog) and also www.goldwasserrealestate.com. I am not kidding around and I would not waste your time. Let me know if you have 5 minutes. Heck you can even call me if you want my number is 512-750-8333. Look forward to talking with you. Glad you did not kill the guy, would have been bad for business! cg
Well, I have to say that I am glad to know that you are human and have issues like the rest of us!
I used Yoga tonite too because I was so pissed off at someone. I couldn't do a lot of it but it gave me a good dose of laughter. I always skipped it before and now I wonder why.
coachaprilan1
Mark Twain didn't say it first, but I believe he said it best: "Forgiveness is the scent that the violet releases after being crushed beneath someone's heel". To be able to release goodness in the light of bad circumstances is equivalent to lighting a candle in a dark room. Way to go bro!
Tony, thanks for the videos. I am 31 years old and feel like I did when I was in college. Myself and fellow teachers started the program last year and we have even created a website to celebrate our accomplishments. Please visit http://gep90xclub.weebly.com/index.html
Thanks,
Scott Reveal
Tony... it always help to exercise to blow of a lil steam. Also glad to see you can apologize after blowing up, it takes a real man to do it.
Tony,
It takes a big man to admit this...my respect for you remains intact and I appreciate your authenticity...all the best my friend.
http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1914857-3,00.html
Tony, you've got to read this article from Time Magazine. This guy is basically saying that exercise is why people are fat.
Dear Tony, I started using PX90 last Monday and that day I felt like I wanted to cut my arms off. However, I got through the pain and went on to day 2. Each day got better and better. I am now on week 2 and I am feeling great. I have more energy and I can't wait to do my workouts each day. Thanks for everything.
Tony Horton I love your blog. When is the next post coming? I wait with baited breath for new blog posts from you. Come on, what, are you busy or something? ;) (kidding, I'm kidding...)
Seriously, though, loved this post. good for your friends for taking you to yoga and getting rid of all that nasty stuff you were going through.
AS
Tony, as a college student doing your workouts in his tiny, clustered, and smelly room, I feel you. There are times during Yoga X where I am trying to breathe in patterns when all of a sudden a hallmate starts blaring music out of his room.
Perhaps I'll try to channel my next session into something inspired my Spock as well.
Loving the workouts so far. My triceps have never hurt this much before, and its great!
Hey Tony, I have been trying to get a word out to you all over the net and on QVC.
After pushing play every day for 3 weeks now I feel like you are my workout buddy.
Thank you for the motivation and inspiration to become active and healthy.
Ahhh! The joys of the construction business. My husband and I just built our dream home on 10 acres up by Lake Tahoe. We had a great contractor working for us and some good, and some not so good sub-contractors. With help from family we did a lot of the work ourselves, but being a log home we wanted to make sure major things such as plumbing and electrical were subbed out. I tell you what, I would have to say dealing with the construction business was one of our worst experiences ever. I am not sure how we stayed as calm as we did on some of the days. I would never want to do it over. I still don't understand how there are so many slackers in such an important trade. It boggles my mind. Some things we can't do ourselves, but we try to do most of it, first to save money from the sometimes rip-off artists and second to be able to say "hey we did that". Best of luck to you.
I am glad that you found your way to yoga to work through your frustration and in the end called to apologize to the contractor. He may have needed to be told whats what but it didn't sound like that was the type of outburst you are accustomed to and not the direction you take things. I am proud of you as apologies are truly difficult. (hugs) I admire you even more after reading how you got beyond the frustration, you rock..
I like the line, "Anger is one letter from danger". It's so true. It's scary how quickly things can escalate, isn't it?
Just started P90X yesterday Tony, and I can't wait to get to the Yoga - I hear it's brutal!! I'm posting about my experience everyday on my blog!
-Heather
www.heather-p90x.blogspot.com
I hope you introduce Kill and Destroy Yoga in your 1-on-1 series!
Yoga always good for our body
Hello Tony,
I do not know if this is the correct place to ask a question or not- but here goes :) I just started P90X this week and will continue the program - however, after each workout I feel sick to my stomach - is this normal? I drink 32 oz water or flavored water before and 32 oz during.
Thanks
Tracie
time to leave some constructive criticism on Yelp!
Tony,
I hardly blame you, it seems like its tougher and tougher to find quality goods and services. I will say, P90x delivers in this area. I applaud you for showing the human side of yourself.
Carl
Hey Tony,
I have a proposition for you. I want to discuss a new market niche for something that will help you and beach body profit tremendously. Please email me at hamza_ishaq@hotmail.com
looking forward to hearing from a legend like yourself!
Wow, very interesting and a great story. It is very big of you to take the high road and apologize. I too have started to see and understand the benefits of Yoga in calming and stress relief. This is all thanks to you of course. Thanks for making P90X Tony, I've never felt so good.
Tony,
Awesome message. I had a day of anger yesterday, work stuff ... and blew off doing P90X last evening. I too know ANGER is toxic. Thanks for the reminder and lesson. A good one. Shows u have great character as well. Rare today. Thx.
Yoga has lots of power! I love it! Thanks for introducing it to my in the P90X program! It is one of my favorite routines!
I turned 40 last yr, and started a total body transformation the summer before turning 40. I had a hard time with getting older and being so out of shape! Thanks to you, I am in the best shape of my life!
Tony,
I thank you so much for P90X, it has changed my life. I am sure you heard this one million times before.Heck, I've heard it just as many tinmes myself. The old infomercial cliche about how a product so awsome, it had the power to changed someones life. I used to think, ya right and how much were you paid to say that one....Well...The difference this time is that it happened to ME and that it is true. From the bottom of my heart thank you... and plyo, it's the bomb. Since your dvds I have run the Chicago Marathon, registered for a triathalon and feel invicible, like some kind of a mom-superhero. If you every come to Chicago---You have a place to stay!
aren't you blogging anymore? it's been a while!
Yeah, anger does suck...being the fastest most powerful emotion we feel, curbing it takes a lot more than counting 1 thru 10.
It was extremely interesting for me to read that article. Thanx for it. I like such themes and anything connected to them. I definitely want to read more soon.
Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!
One book that has really helped me control my emotions is called Crucial Conversations. It has specific skills that help you understand why you become angry and then "master your stories" that you tell and re-tell in your head. It is the story you tell in your head, that you can't control, that controls you.
Yoga is really great help to our health. Get rid of stress and enjoy a healthy life. :)
Hello. And Bye.
exelent
Tony, love your program. Been a huge help.
Wait...hold on people!!
I believe this is punishment for making that Plyometrics DVD!!!
I got through the program but I believe I felt the same way Tony did every time I had to do Plyo.
Thanks for the pain and nausia!
Absolutely! Yoga is a great stress reliever. Regular meditation gives you mental peace and inner strength through positive thinking.
Pranayama (yogic breathing practices) makes the body and mind becomes strong and healthy, fat and over weight is reduced. There is glow in the face and Eyes sparkle like diamonds. The practitioner becomes very handsome. Voice becomes sweet and melodious"...
Conceit is the quicksand of success.
-----------------------------------
Well said. Yoga really did work to reduce my anger. Good blog you have presented it reminds me my earlier memory because of it I could follow hatha yoga teacher training.
Thanks
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