Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Looking Good Isn't Good Enough

I've been sitting on this title for weeks and I've been having the toughest time trying to figure how I want to approach this topic. I like to focus on tangible ideas that help me live the lifestyle I preach about. I was in Atlanta last week at a Team BeachBody event talking about the effects of fitness and clean eating on the body and brain. My mantra is based in the belief that if you exercise today you get fitter today. If you exercise and eat whole foods today, your health improves today. If you exercise today the quality of your lives improves today because the area inside the temporal lobe of the brain releases proteins and chemicals that make you happy, confident and productive. And last but not least is the effect of exercise on your body's ability to fight disease and injuries. All these amazing things will (not might) occur the same day you choose to exercise. Wow! So good!

What makes me crazy is that most people on this planet are so hung up on their looks. I'm one of them. Who am I kidding right? I'll show off my biceps and 6-pack at the opening of a letter. It feels good to look good. I understand this as well anyone. The problem lies in the thought that changing your looks is going to make your life better or more manageable somehow. Or that thinking a better body in the future is a sustainable motivator right now. Wanting to look good is great. Thinking that looking good is the end all be all holy grail is disastrous. If looking good is your first priority then it's probably also true that you live your life for others. It means that you care more about what others think of you, than what you think of yourself. This typically results in behavior that is contrary to consistent healthy living. Weight loss thru diets, diet pills, starving yourself before events like weddings and reunions, living and dying for the numbers on your scale all reflect the vicious cycle created by the look-at-me world we live in.

I think our egos can coexist with a more important and powerful energy that can give us purpose on this planet. This energy is the desire to be better. To be stronger, healthier, smarter, more patient and more productive. It's the desire to figure out what you're fighting for. What are YOU fighting for? Is it shapelier calves or to enter and finish your first 10K? Is priority 1 to lose the belly or to do 40 perfect push-ups? Is it looking good in a red dress at a wedding in front of a bunch of people who care too much about what they look like in front of you? BORING! I'm more impressed with the fit girl who can do splits on the dance floor. Success comes from a very gentle shift in priorities. From look-like to can-do. For some this shift is as simple as an on-off switch. For others it will be like cracking a safe. If you find that life has been filled with too many ups and downs then it might be time to make the shift. Constant focus on looking good will only disappoint you. Discover that fighting to be better, brings thrills and chills you never thought imaginable.

112 comments:

mgould8 said...

This is EXACTLY what I needed to hear today. I am currently on my 5th week of P90X and I have been a bit discouraged because even though my legs and arms have been gaining more definition every day, I haven't lost any weight yet. Thanks so much!

Deuce said...

That is exactly spot on Tony! I started P90X to become fit and physically capable of enjoying an active lifestyle. Losing weight and looking better are by-products of that goal. I have more energy, more stamina, more strength, and I want more! Motivation brings results and results bring motivation. It's addictive! Devour life!

Thanks for helping me bring it.

zen2000 said...

Wow, I did not expect that. Very honest post. I think you are becoming Buddhist in your thinking. Thanks again

Jteezy said...

Excellent post. Admittedly I started p90x because I wanted to LOOK good, but now that I'm almost done with my first round, it's opened my eyes to a better lifestyle - one filled with energy, focus, and good health.

Anonymous said...

Spot on!!

nick C. said...

"Discover that fighting to be better brings thrills and chills you never thought imaginable." Thank you very much, Tony! Isn't that really what life's all about anyway? Life is a stage, and we owe it to ourselves at least to try to do a good performance.

Last night I came home from a hard day and popped in an oldy, but a goody: Master Series Sculpt 5/6. Working out with that DVD just brought back so many good memories of when I started with Beachbody. All the thrills and chills of those early days...and then I realized that I wanted those feelings to come back into my life, but I wanted to make it better, stronger and more intense. So, today I decided to do just that! Eat cleaner, live cleaner, breathe cleaner, see cleaner! It's right there...all we have to do is take it.

Trainer T.s Fitness said...

Tony,
"Discover that fighting to be better, brings thrills and chills you never thought imaginable."


Thanks for finding the way to say this and still be encouraging to others. Its all about the attitude to become a better YOU.

I am also doing P90X on Week 7 day 6 and even though I have a love/hate thing with it, I am loving the results.

Taking my fitness to the next level is what inspires me, so thank you for the GREAT post.

Jay Garbarino said...

These are my exact thoughts. Maybe spending time Workout with Tony is actually brain-washing me to think like him. I hope to think that I always had this perspective. Okay I will admit it publicly, I do not want a "Dad Body". But I do want to be a great Dad, and that is what Exercise helps me to be.

JoshPanter said...

Thanks, Tony...

Anonymous said...

A little off topic

Hey Tony I am a huge fan of your one on one series. One peice of equipement that I have always loved is the kettlebell. Do you think you will ever do a video with one of those because I would love to see the kind of workout you could put together with it.

Anonymous said...

I started because my partner was working out and walking the walk. With P90X I can now keep pace and sometimes take a stride ahead. Thanks Tony; you & your program are unique and inspiring beyond anything out there!!!!!

azusmom said...

I want to be healthy. I want to stick around for my kids, who both have autism. I want to lose the fat off my tummy because I don't like it and it gets in the way when I'm doing yoga.
I want to be a good model for my clients.
I DON'T want to be a stick, or a waif, or a lollipop head, or whatever the current trend is. Trends come and go, and few of them are healthy.

Unknown said...

Dear Tony, Oh my gosh, I have finally realized that losing weight in and of itself is an empty dream. I got there, opened the door, and there was nothing inside. Everything in my life was exactly the same except my wedding ring kept slipping off my finger. Talk about disappointment, holy Toledo. Anyway, I'm starting over. I want to be healthy and dig out those old dreams and start living them. Now that's scarry. Thanks for everything. Kristy

Koxner said...

Having gained a lot of weight I decided I had to lose weight. In fact after my back surgery my doctor also told me to lose weight.

I started the P90x program 3 weeks ago and am already feeling the extra energy and have lost 8 pounds to date. It is a challenge for sure but thats the way I like it. If I am not challenged I get bored. I have changed my poor eating habits and through beach bodies meal planning have found it easy and enjoyable. I have another 25 pounds to go yet to get to the weight I want.

I really have never cared much about what people thought of my looks. When I do something to improve on myself I do it for me. Tonys blog is right on the money and very honest.

Tara said...

Tony, as usual, you're dead-on. I have yo-yo dieted for most of my adult life, trying to "look better" but not really caring about how healthy I was. Now, I've been focusing on the health & fitness aspect for the last 7 months, and WHAT a shift. I'm more motivated to work out six days a week, I'm cleaning up my diet, I'm stronger than I've EVER been, the important numbers (cholesterol, blood pressure, heart rate) are improving rapidly. . . oh, and the fat is melting off, but that's just a pleasant side-effect at this point.

It just plain feels good to exercise and eat well. It's a reward in & of itself.

Thanks for all you do to help us on the journey. I've done Power 90 in the past, and am currently about 1/2-way through my first round of P90X. It won't be my last. :)

Songbirdgal said...

It's day 40 of Power 90 and my monthly hormonal headaches have lessened and my acid reflux has all but disappeared. I lift heavy at work and find my job is getting easier too. The "look" is a fringe benefit of my new "feel better" lifestyle. Thanks Tony, Beachbody, Team Members and Coaches! I'm moving forward and never looking back. Yea!

Anonymous said...

Are there any plans to spin up a P90X certification program for fitness instructors? I can't help but think that P90X would do very well in group fitness rooms at gyms around the US.

Anonymous said...

Tony,

I'm on day 84 of my first round of the X, and what a journey it has been!

I too started this program to "look good". Boy have things changed! I haven't stepped on the scale since about week 3, and don't plan to ever again. How on earth I ever let a number define my value for so many years, I guess I'll never understand.

I have lost weight, I have gained muscle, my pants have gotten baggy, but more than anything else, I have found a smile that comes from deep inside and stays in place most every day. I smile because I feel better, am stronger and healthier than I've ever been in my life.

Thank you for your post, thank you for your programs, and thanks for hanging with me in my living room every morning for the last 84 days! On to round two soon!!!

Chelle

Anonymous said...

me and my husband started p90X a week ago. Gosh it's so tough but we hang in there! I run 5 times a week for 5-6 miles and thought my leg musculs are strong but doing p90X I found out that they are not. I've started this programm to get 6packs that I've never had and I'll get them!!!

Anonymous said...

Toni you rock the socks. Me and my husband are on our first week of P90X and we are in it to bring it. We are loving it! It totally kills but we are doing our best and forgetting the rest! you are awesome we hope to look hot for our trip to Lake Powell in a couple of months. Keep posting it gives all of us hope!
Susi

Matt said...

Tony,

My wife and I are raising our first child (he's 10 months). Since going through P90X and Power 90, we are excited to know that he will grow up in a healthy house. When we stepped into the world of health and fitness, it was a permanent lifestyle change that will, in turn, change our family tree. Praise God for what you do.

-Matt

Anonymous said...

Tony,
I have 9 days left of P90X and it not only changed my looks but my inner speech and how I judge myself. I turned 40 Monday and the greatest gift was to be strong, energetic and healthy. My three kids have been a huge part of my husband and I accomplishing this goal. They see that exercise and eating well is a priority in our life and I hope that it will stay with them for life.

I loved your post.
Thanks for being the best trainer in the world!
Sharon

bumbly said...

you're the man tony. I've completed p90x, did an extra month of the first phase and am finishing my first phase of the plus program. I've achieved amazing results and am loving the workouts. I look even better thanks to you.

JBlogger said...

85 more days and everyday I envision the end goal. The Fitter, Stronger, healthier version of me.

I enjoy your sense of humor and gift of a smile.

It feels like you are in the room when I workout because your verbal corrections to my shrugging catch me and I can fix it. You are spot on.

Thanks!

Sam said...

It is easy to see the tangible physical results of P90X but the real break through I have experienced cannot be seen.

I've never been able to consistently stick to a workout program. Physically I felt weak and my confidence was lacking which made it difficult to push through any difficult situation that came up in all aspects of my life (work, love, fitness, etc). Completing P90X has shown me that with the right road map anything is possible.

Through P90X I have completed something I never thought was possible and today I am mentally stronger than ever before.

Now, whenever I am challenged, whenever something comes up that I think is not possible I say to myself, "If I could do P90X then I can do this." I just have to commit to doing my best in the moment.

For the first time in my life, fitness has become an every day priority. I finished the initial 90 days in May but P90X is now part of my life. Every time I finish a workout I tell myself that I'm a little bit stronger (physically & mentally) today than I was yesterday.

Looking good is one thing but truly feeling good about myself has been the biggest accomplishment.

Thank you.

brendaontheRun said...

When you focus on getting fit for a sport or activity, it's so much more satisfying, as you start appreciating all your body parts; even the bits that don't look that great. I used to hate my non-skinny legs but over the years I've learnt to love them and admire that they're able to let me run a 100 miles non-stop. They allow me to be strong, self-reliant and powerful. Who cares if they're not in fashion!

Barbiemac66 said...

Thanks Tony! I needed to hear this today. I am in week 3 and feeling stronger every day and able to increase my reps/weight, etc. Haven't lost any weight yet but I am keeping the faith that it will come off as I continue. My overall health is the most important thing to me as I continue to age gracefully :)

Goxy said...

Thanks for everything Tony - cannot express it better than the posters above - and the funny thing is how similar my thought and views are to all of the people who chipped in above... we are all the same - this truly unites us all.

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Jan-Michael Johnson said...

Amen brother.

NaturalEarth said...

Thanks Tony! As a mom of four who yo-yo's depending upon my schedule I agree with wanting to look better, but ever more than that it is feeling better. Regardless of my size it means more to me to feel healthy and fit. I started my non profit with this in mind...feeling better has to do with so many things. Personal health, environmental health...it is all tied in. Check out www.mynaturalearth.org and see our projects and programs.

Keep up the great work! I have never done a workout like P90X before. I can honestly say I get bored and drop off after a while and working out becomes a drag, but not with this workout. Thank you for that.

By the way my non profit is holding our first charity event this month in Los Angeles. If you are interested in attending check out the website and click on our casino night event.

Thanks!

Stacy

Boris T said...

Well put!

Anonymous said...

Tony, YOU ARE THE MAN!!!!!!!! X-CELLENT POST!! BRING IT MAN BRING IT WOOO!

JennyMarie said...

I needed that Tony! Love ya!

Anonymous said...

Tony.. well said and heartfelt.

"Looking good" is truly the illusion, mirage in the desert.

I'm 61 and altho I do care about how I look, I understand it's place. I do practice yoga/zen and have completed the P90X...They are all quite compatible !!!

I am sort of dovetailng the workouts with the guidlines of a book I recently read, Younger Next Year. For anyone over 50, it's a must read, and for those younger, it would be so helpful.

There is a place for the over 60 crowd in P90X, altho many cannot approach it's intensity. I am fortunate to be in condition complete the program and continue.

The quality of living is what matters, day to day. Weight loss is a number on the scale. Musculature reflections in the mirrors of our minds.

On you go... thanks for sharing a perspective I was not sure was predominate in your thinking.

Jim Perry
Jacksonport, WI

Heike said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Heike said...

Very inspiring words!
I successfully finished the P90X program 4 weeks ago. LOVED IT! I am not saying it was easy. Doing it every single day was the hard part.
Today I started with the 2nd round. Actually, I wanted to start after a 3-weeks break, so one week earlier. I couldn't :( I was scared and afraid that I cannot do it twice in a row (now that I knew what it is like).

That's why I am happy that I was able to start round 2 today .. and now I am reading this .. and it will for sure inspire me to keep up the work.

Thank you, Tony, for such an excellent workout program.

Mlle. Rose said...

wow. SPOT ON post ! Look-like to Can-do!

"Is it looking good in a red dress at a wedding in front of a bunch of people who care too much about what they look like in front of you?"

THE IRONY !

xenogirl said...

Thank you for your post.... because after fighting purging and binge eating, and fasting, and strange diets, and yo-yo'ing and crying, and hating the scale, and loving the scale, and eating like a rabbit, and eating like a pig, working out excessively, and not working out at all... I've begun to realize the same thing. I might NEVER look like the idealized (and probably unrealistic) image in my head and why should I? I should look like me!! Furthermore, I should strive for the healthiest version of me. If that doesn't fit society's warped image of what a woman should like like then I should be worried about society, not about me.

Anonymous said...

Well, i might be a happy one, but i was never concerned about my looks. Ofcourse its cool to see big "guns" under shoulders, but i its much better to think of it as raising power indicator, not just sexier image.
And the greatest benefit of this mindset is MOTIVATION
"I want to do more reps this time" - because reps represents my progress
"I want to get up from the bed and go running" - becouse it will make me faster and healthier, leany look is just a side effect
"I do yoga and streching" - it cant change my surface, but it can improve my physical and inner condition.

with the best regards from Russia, forgive my poor eng...

Monica Riley said...

This was a little hard for me to read cause I feel for this topic! You see I'm a great girl, I'm fun, loving, enthusiastic, life of the party, a wonderful friend...but I never seem to get that "double look" from guys( you know what I'm talking about). I'm simply put "the girl next door". My whole life I thought I would just be better if I had that Hollywood body.... I tried this and that and eventually it got so bad that I could point out every new pound added to my body weather it was there or just a figment of my imagenation. Thats when I realised I was wasting energy on outward things!! I started looking at my life and the things that mattered. Why worry about the boys walking by who dont look at me when I have a wonderful man beside me who looks at me all the time! And guess what... it's a way harder, and more amazing workout to just be a well rounded NICE person then to sulk and feel bad about your self! I finally started to workout again after giving my brain a well needed break and P90X has been a huge success (only after 3 weeks). But the most amazing thing is that I care more about how I feel then how I look! And with P90x one GREAT side effect IS looking good so darn I guess I have that too..... P90X is the total package and I'm proud to be part of it!!!

Froncinator said...

I am 49 yrs old and have been doing P90X for 3 months. I began in April with the incentive of my 21 yr old son. You can do it Mom, he would say. So I began and enjoyed and started to see results after just 3 weeks, right before he left me to go into the Navy. I continued and today feel even stronger, inside and out. I have lost 18 lbs, toned up and feel stronger. I know at my age it will take longer, but my life is not over and I plan on continuing this lifestyle change for a while yet - thanks to Tony and P90X.

Anonymous said...

Tony, thanks for "Bringing it" in this message. I have been very guilty of focusing on wanting to look great. Like you said, this is a no win deal ! I have to forget that focus, and move, as you suggest, to focusing on what I can now do better than before I began P90x - 163 brutal workouts ago ! I can bring it every day ! And when bringing it means I can tough it out through P90X and keep doing my best every day - THAT is saying something ! I can eat right every day - that is saying something !

Thanks for helping me bring it during my P90x workouts and thanks for bringing it on your blog...it came right when I needed it !

5InLivewell

Thomas said...

Thanks for P90X Tony.

Saw a TED talk recently that you might be interested in...

http://blog.ted.com/2009/08/the_surprising.php

It relates a lot to this blog post "Looking Good Isn't Good Enough" and your more recent one "It's You"

Discusses motivation and how incentives work.

Aloha,
Thomas

Maria said...

All the hard work equates to an inner peace and contentment. The idea of just looking better has been replaced with feeling better and being a better person to my family and myself. The looking better is lower on my list.

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